JOKES

Add them up, ill get the ball rolling,

What dya call a dinosaur after 10 pints and a vindaloo?

MegasorARSE!

How do you piss off a female archeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it came from

my joke is sheffield wednesday

i wont tell any of my jokes no1 lyks thm lol

Fire away babe, were bound to laugh, might be with you or at you

All mine are racist, I don't want some PC cunt breathing down my neck <_<

What's the difference between a Wednesday fan and a coconut?

One's thick and hairy, the other's a fruit.

Alf Hooker wrote:

What's the difference between a Wednesday fan and a coconut?

One's thick and hairy, the other's a fruit.

Which ones Which, because technically a coconut's not a fruit, also I don't like ruining peoples jokes it's just a habit

Man racist is bullshit,

Three guys, an irish man, a p**i and an englishman are out walking together one day. They came across a lantern and a Genie popped out of it."I will give each of you one wish. That's three wishes total," said the Genie.

The irish man says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in ireland."With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF',the land in Ireland was forever made fertile for farming.

The p**i was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Pakistan, Iraq, Iran, India Afganistan and all the surrounding countrys, so that no infidels, Jews, Americans or brits can come into our precious land."Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye,'POOF', there was a huge wall around the countrys.

Now, the British man said "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explained, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick, and completely surrounds the countrys. Nothing can get in or out its virtually impenetrable."

The Englishman said, "Right, Fill it with water !"

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To see Sams mum?

Shes nice

pics?

I wish

Just Seen This On Youtube

A Man Take hsi girlfriend back to his place after a date.
Before He Opens the Door the woman says that she can tell what sort of lover he is by the way he opens the lock.
If he forces it in then he's a rough over and she dosen't like that.
If He is nervous and takes a few attempts to find the lock then he's inexperienced and she dosen't like that. She then lets the man continue.

We'll First, he says, I put my finger in the lock to make sure the key will fit, then I place the key in slowly and turn it until just before it opens. then with a a quick turn of my wrist I open the door

A Barrow fan and a Wukki fan are in a serious car crash and both cars are smashed up. Luckily, they both survive. The Wukki fan says to the Barrow fan "this is a sign from God to say that Barrow and Workington fans should live together happily". The Barrow fan agrees and says "WOW! There is a bottle of whisky in my car and it hasn't samashed, let's have a drink...to new friendship". He passes the bottle to the Wukki fan who takes a big gulp. "mmm that was lovely" he said "here, have some". The barrow fan said "No you're alright, I'l wait until the police come"

Police in Liverpool have arrested 3 of 4 well known Scouse Islamic terrorists: Bin Muggin, Bin Dealin and Bin Theavin. But there was no sign of Bin Workin.

Dennis Wise saw his doctor and asked if he had ever laughed at a patient. ''In over 20 years I haven't because I try to remain professional''. With that, Wise dropped his trousers revealing the smallest dick the doctor had ever seen. It was no bigger than an AAA battery. The doc burst into uncontrollable hysteria. ''I'm sorry I really am and I don't know what came over me, I promise it won't happen again. Now what seems to be the problem''. ''Its swollen'' said Dennis Wise.

Gary Glitter has taken a new job as dressing up as Santa Claus. And a 13 year old girl came up to him and asked ''Would it be possible to get some hair around my fanny like my older sisters?'' He replied ''Would a white beard be OK?''