Many people haven't stepped into the unknown world of "Barnsley."
Heres a handy guide if you ever do go there.
Some useful slangTha What? - Pardon Me
Gizzit! - Could you pass me that please
Ar Much! - Thats rather expensive isnt it?
Go an get thi sen fucked off! - Go away please
Tha a reyt tub er spunk - You are a complete imbecile
A tha gooin int tarn for a few, tha comin? - Would you like to join me for some sociable drinks in the town centre
Chip Oyl - Fish and Chip shop
Eyup! wot thaa fuckin doing, get fucked off - Excuse me, What are your intentions, please stop
Tha gunna get some reyt shoe thee! - Your are going to receive a dam good kick in
Wats tha fookin on abart ya dozy cunt! - What are you talking about
She could shit in my snap tin - Wow! What an attractive lady.
Snap tin - Lunch box
Council / Cooperation pop - Tap Water
ManShagger - Homosexual Gentleman
Ya Dirty Scret! - you dirty scrubber
Like a gi a fook bart thee - I don't care about you
Cop Hoyl - Police Station
Chip Hoyl - Fish and Chip Shop
Fag House - person who sells cheap fake cigs
oy a se thee - hey you
oreyt ar kid - are you alright mate?
booan heead (bone head) - bald
Past timesFavourite pastimes include mining down't pit and combining words to form random sentences that no normal person understands. Another is talking 'bart' Barnsley itself. If you don't talk about Barnsley, you are not welcome in Barnsley.
Frequently having sexual intercourse with familly members of t'opposite sex is also a very common pastime in this area. This may or may not explain the abundance of Townie fookin' scum that can oft' be seen pushing a pram about their local area (though one could argue that the primary reason for having a pram around is so that they can ram into the back of nearby strangers' legs; this seems to happen all too frequently around Barnsley)
Even though there are only five TV's in all of Barnsley, another good past time there is watching the movie KES. This is the only movie that was ever made in Barnsley (apart from Brassed Off, set in the fictional town 'Grimley' this was actually set in Grimethorpe, based on Grimethorpe Colliery Band.
Although this was not as successful as Kes, this was a highly recognisable film) and everyone claims to know most of the people that was in it. The reason another movie was not made in Barnsley ever again was because nobody could understand what the hell they were saying, half of the time it sounds as if they are communicating through moans and grunts.
Binge drinking also is an important part of Barnsleys culture. The entire population of the town can usually be found on wellington street on a saturday night partaking in many local pastimes including, mooneying, urinating in the street, hurling abuse at anyone and everyone, and most importantly fighting.
Barnsley's national anthem is the "Barnsley Man Rap" by the local hero, Johnbob. with a talent level of none whatsoever, he stands proud as Barnsley's most talented inhabitant.
SportApart from bullying, Barnsley doesn't really get up to much. Boyracers are around McDonald's, but let's not constitute that sport. Now, bullying, that's the sport of Barnsley.
Anyone with an IQ reaching 60+ (the average of Alabama) or look slightly retarded are a target to heckling. If you have long hair, then you are an emo, here, take some razorblades and go somewhere else. You are simply not welcome in Barnsley
If you do deciede you want to live in Barnsley , there is a wide range of jobs.
[list][*]Hittin stuff
Sexin stuff
brickin stuff
breakin stuff
or even european parliment member.
If you enjoyed my guide , or want me to make one about your city or a rubbish city. PS I'm not making one about sheffield.
